Headlines Lacking

Panty Raid won the Black-Eyed Susan today and the headlines read a ho-hum Black-Eyed Susan Stakes belongs to Panty Raid and Panty Raid Takes Black-Eyed Susan. Given that the cheesiest of headlines employing the most lame plays on words are routinely trotted out I think we can do better than this. Shoot, every Fraternity lad in the infield came up with something worthy before plunking down their two dollars on Panty Raid's sniffer. What do you suggest?