Racing's a Hoot at Ferndale

The races at Ferndale, the tiny bullring in Humboldt County, California where racing has been conducted since at least the 1890s, are always a treat. This is some real cowboy stuff, eschewing the blue blood and image conscious approaches favored by Saratoga and Del Mar, respectively.

Two of the featured events will likely garner some press. The Marathon, a 1 & 5/8ths mile race, gets racing publications excited every year because the horses cross the half mile track's finish line FOUR, count'em, FOUR times. Track announcer Vic Stauffer is expected to enter Quag in the race. "Quag was claimed with the Humboldt County Marathon in mind," Stauffer recently said at the Santa Rosa Fair.

Early in the meet, Sarah Nelson and Smoking Joe will hook up in a match race reminiscent of Taz and Black Ruby.

On Aug. 12, racing mules Smoking Joe and Sarah Nelson will compete in Ferndale, home to the state's smallest track. A Humboldt County Fair Association Board member thought up the promo: "Who has the best ass in Ferndale?" Free pins denoting the match and its motto will be handed out from Aug. 10 to Aug. 12, as supplies last.

Sarah Nelson and Smoking Joe will be the only two on the track when they head out of the starting gate, Titus said. Both owners agreed to pony up $5,000 -- and the winner takes all. Of course, those watching in the stands, can only wager on a "win" ticket.

I appreciate the move to promote a truly exciting spectacle, however I must point out that neither Smoking Joe nor Sarah Nelson is an ass. They are mules, which is to say they are only half-asses. Of course a mule is the result of breeding a jack (a male donkey) to a mare (a female horse). I still want a couple of those buttons, though.