One of my guilty pleasures is reading dater blogs, which essentially chronicle someone's dating life. It's amazing how folks will reveal so many intimate details (usually anonymously) during their search for love or sex. Reading their story can be very entertaining, in that Mexican soap opera kind of way.
A few buddies and I have a somewhat regular contest where we establish odds and bet on who a blogger will shag next--or more properly stated, who they admit to shagging next, or lie about shagging next, since we don't actually know these people.
We rotate who plays the bookmaker and sets the line, and everyone else bets. We've developed a few other rules and conventions out of necessity to resolve ambiguous results and such, but I wont get into that right now. The important thing is setting up the line for the bookmaker and making your selection as the bettor. If nothing else, this exercise has made me think more about how to set up a balanced morning line.
One single girl's blog, Downtown-Chic, offers a particularly illustrative example right now, and since a couple of my usual betting partners are on vacation or otherwise unavailable to play, I'll establish the line for you. Remember, you're betting on who the blogger will sleep with next.
Currently, I've established the line for Downtown and her suitors in a Google spreadsheet. Feel free to copy it and use it for actual horse races if you like, or just review the simple formulas. In this instance we assume there is no takeout, but the spread sheet can accommodate one.
Lastly, before you berate me for regarding these folks as a wagering opportunity, do read our damsel discussing pedigree analysis of dating prospects. Like her, I wish there was more data, too. If only her and her suitors were on Pedigree Query.
Note, the windows close with Downtown's next post.
The Entries
3-1 The Houseguest
9/2 Dane Cook
10-1 Wall Street
50-1 The Producer
6/5 The Field (all other men)
Handicapping the Damsel and her Suitors
Just like when handicapping a horse race, you should consider the past performances, the conditions, and all other relevant data. What kind of man does this blogger like? Does she put out on the first date? What are the men like? If the blogger requires priming with flowers or flirting for days or weeks, who has a head start in that department? Clearly, there is much to consider.
A Closer Look
3-1 The Houseguest
He's navigated these waters before, already has a date scheduled, and keeps the compliments coming. On the downside, Downtown is not as insecure as when she was dating The Producer, so the compliments she desperately craved then may not be as potent. He is also trouble prone out of the gate. Could be a threat if he brings his "A" game. Mixed feelings.
9/2 Dane Cook
Second time starter with limited data. Downtown seems genuinely interested, as evidenced by the "shameless flirting," and hoss did overcome some adversity in the lane when initially denied a kiss. Could be the value play with his prep behind him.
10-1 Wall Street
Sure, he's the class of the field. These are the ones you always want to hammer at the windows, then can't figure out what went wrong. Keep in mind, Wall Street hasn't even phoned yet, and there are two others that already have dates lined up. Dicey.
50-1 The Producer
Oldtimer has plenty of backclass, has bedded this lass repeatedly, and is known for being good in the sack, yet he is badly off form. This one may not be long for the boudoir and simply can't be taken seriously in this spot. Pass.
6/5 The Field (all other men)
Downtown is not adverse to the one night stand, is fond of the bottle, and there are no shortage of lads wanting to take her home from the pub. Still, it would take just the right lad and Downtown in just the right mood for an as yet unknown quantity to pull off the one night stand with this filly. But, there are no world beaters among the rest of the entries, and can see the right suitor laying some groundwork one night this week, then sweeping 5 wide to get his picture taken a few days later, even if all these fella's have first crack. The pick.
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19 comments:
Wall Street, by a head.
heh. heh.
heh.
Brad - You are awesome. It is good to see that you are a warped as I am.
This post is great!!!!
Brad -- I don't think I've ever been the topic of another individual's blog post before... At least not to this extent. Am I allowed to place bets? And what does the winner get?
$20 to place on Dane Cook, I thinking both dates lined up this week win.
@anon, yes, by a head. I should have seen that one coming. (see, two can play at that game)
@sportline, yep, warped. most of the fun folks usually are.
@downtown, I think allowing you get a wager down allows for too much dirty pool. and, we don't actually play for money, but for "drink dollars", so I'd just buy you a drink and you don't have to impinge the integrity of the game to enjoy it. You've provided untold entertainment and your cut shouldn't be denied. Maybe you should get the takeout...
@handride, are you calling a dead heat? that's bold! i've not known her to go the menage a trois route, and hadn't considered it, but I s'pose it could happen. Just think, you could box your exacta and cash both ways!
This girl's blog is so 2004! Been there, done that. Read the Washingtonienne, okay?
No wonder she's single. And no wonder the Wall Streeter isn't even giving her any attention. He's the one to watch, but he's probably got the girls after him.
I lived in Manhattan for 6.5 years and know how it is -- the girls are whores and that's why the guys can be assholes. Of course, this works out perfectly peachy if you're nonheterosexual, but that's not the case here.
Back to the betting, I say she might as well fuck 'em all!
Good god, prankster, did you have to go all Donald Trump on her?
Methinks you might be projecting here. You'd like the five way, and want Rosie thrown in for good measure, no?
You can label all Manhattan girls whores, and all the boys assholes, and not take too much guff, but calling her blog 2004....now that's below the belt.
Or maybe calling any blog so 2004 is just redundant...but we each write one, so lets not.
You're still my favorite bi-girl (the reason you were able to enjoy NY so much, perhaps), pranky, but let's play nice.
50-1 on the ex-boyfriend. Women go back bad relationships all the time. Theres the value play.
The houseguest, accross the board.
Gerry
TBB - The dames are trouble, boss, stick to the ponies. gimmie a nickle on the tart to make it with Wall Street, anyway.
Great Post Brad. But in all fairness you should disclose what legal medications Downtown or Damsel may be on, for example (V) a vodka drinker, (G) a gin drinker and (A) she drinks anything if she's not buying. Also how about some stats about the suitors, like scores 90 days off the "lay" off. And lastly one of these guys might very well be a gelding; that should be noted !
@horse sense, yes men do not have a monopoly on bad handicapping. women too choose their partners poorly at times. I still think The Producer even at 50-1 is one of the worst underlays in the game, though. At the same time, that's what Steve Crist said about Closing Arguement in the 2005 Kentucky Derby. I had'em, my girlfriend had Giacomo, and we made it a big big day.
@Gerry, very playable. are you singling him in the late pick four?
@jimmy, backing up the truck on Wall Street, eh? I'll book that. and yes, i know all too well that the dames are trouble. they're more expensive than the ponies, too.
@John, by Green Monkey, your right! and, what if that V stood for some other medication??? I think the New York Sport Fucking Commission has testing proceedures in place for that, though. And yes, I would definitely want to know if one of these boys has undergone the ultimate equipment change.
I've got $20 to WPS (I won't even explain what I think place and show are) on Brad at 99-1.
@Mike, I wont tell your old lady that I keyed you atop my trifecta if you don't tell mine.
Hey, it took me three days sloggin' thru dial-up, not drinking for the since sunday-(check the posts on www.lovedagoat.com)after my latest stalled relationship, and the man, the myth, the legend, brad to guide me, but here is my take on this "downtown chic": are any of them "geldings?" "ridglings" or "colts"...this might change things! no baller, one-baller, or two-baller? We have to read the DCF or the "downtown chic form" more closely! Maybe one might be a filly! Yes, Downtown Chic! I would like to see the comments in your form next to each one if they are not maidens! "Hung"? "Held on Stubbornly" "Vanned off"? I say she gives them all the FINGER and flies out to Auburn, Washington and meets da' goat for a Sunriser, a walk down by the river in a drizzle, and then heads to the OTB with me that Sunday afternoon singing John Denver songs like "Leaving on a Jet Plane", "Annie" and my semi-favorite, "Sunshine on My Shoulders"! What da' you think Downtown Chic? 6-5 the field must mean me! I like my odds! Check out my pics at www.lovedagoat.com a horse racing website you ratbastard!
The girl should be more hoey. There is more sex in the barns at los al than in her new york yupie tell all. You know all about that don't you tote. wink wink
ok, now you guys are having just a little too much fun at my expense.
Jenny from the block? JLo actually stopping by my li'l spot on the innerweb! what a treat!
And no, I don't know what this winking refers to.
What I do know is that the only Jenny that loves to talk about sex and knows about this blog is Movement's exercise rider.
Alright Brad, so since my blog is actually free of any sort of uh "confessions" of this sort. (Just a whole lot of insinuating.)
I'll let you know that those who bet on the Houseguest win, although the Producer made a very unexpected last minute showing, and there was added competition from a beach vacation with a ex-friend with priviledges.
Eh, so yeah, I told him about your post and he wishes the odds were more in his favor.
I hope I didn't cost you too many drinking bucks.
Nice post as for me. It would be great to read something more concerning this theme.
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